Saturday, July 14, 2012

Gastronomical Challenge - Win Bob's Drive In

You are looking at the seventh winner in the History of the Wide Glide Challenge of Win Bob's Restaurant in Dunlap TN.  That's right, I ate a Wide Glide in 30 minutes!
Here are the rules:
So there I was on an ordinary Saturday Afternoon, July 7, 2012, out with my family for lunch, and I saw that on the wall.  I thought it'd be great fun to order the Win Bob Wideglide.  I knew in a small town like that, it'd be big news.  And if I failed, my children would never see me the same way again... it was starting to get a little hot in there.  Well, there was a heat wave that day, temp's above 105 F.  And after 20 minutes of eating all that beef and fries, I was getting really hot.  I picked a heck of a day for a gastronomical challenge, and I had a pretty good sized breakfast to boot.  I wasn't prepared at all, this was a spur of the moment thing. 
So when I went to dig in, I knew that 30 minutes would go by pretty fast, and that in order to eat that monster burger plate, I'd have to keep up the pace.  So I did. I chewed and chewed until I thought my jaw would fall off.  I also knew that drinking a lot would be a bad idea, so a drank a cup of water before I started, and thereafter just a few sips to make it go down. 
Afterward, that 18 oz of beef and 16 oz of potatoes was sitting in the pit of my stomach like a rock.  It just would not move.  And there wasn't much room for water.  I was thirsty as I'll get out.  A heck of a time to pick to go throw up some decking on the playhouse, in the heat wave.  3 or 4 hours later, I thought enough time had passed to gulp down some water - boy was I wrong.  16 oz. later, I felt a dull pain in my stomach, and all I could think about was the lawsuit against Arm and Hammer baking soda that I had read about.  In it, a man on his honeymoon had chili for dinner, and then had gas.  He decided to drink a few teaspoons of baking soda in order to counteract the gas or acid, or whatever, and he gulped it down in a big glass of water.  Pretty soon he was on the floor and had to to the ER because he had ruptured his stomach or soemthing.  For the rest of his life, he had to deal with the results of that injury. 
So as I stood there, with that 50 oz of food and water sitting in my stomach like a rock, I began to think throw-upy thoughts.  Just for the fun of it.  After all, I'd rather puke than rupture my stomach.  I let a couple cups come up, enough to relieve the pressure, but not too much that I'd want to eat dinner.  Pain went away, crisis averted.  I'll live to eat antoher day. 
And I'll go down in history as a hero to my kids.  They best part?  They gave me free ice cream after I beat the challenge!  And I thought I couldn't do it.  I was making plans to puke right there, scoping out the bathroom and what not.  But, it wasn't really that hard, just a lot of chewing.  2/3rd's of the way through I started chopping up the foot into little bits.  That helped a lot when it came to chewing.  I finished right at the last second!  People from that little podunk town started at me the whole time. 
Then the next week when I was in Indiana, I saw this show on the food network, something like Man vs. Food.  There have been thousands of people in TX who have eaten this 70 oz. steak and potatoes.  I think I'd rather die than have to eat that.  My poor stomach....

Some people think that competitive eaters are different from normal folks.  Some competitive eaters drink large volumes of water to train, others eat large volumes of high fiber and low calorie foods to keep the stomach streched out.  I regularly drink large quantities of water.  Maybe that has helped me be a competitive eating machine.  However, much like my ill-fated time at the shoothing range, it wasn't that enjoyable.  I still haven't found a higher high than being used by God. 

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